Monday, June 15, 2009


Is there anybody o-u-t t-h-e-r-e???

Sorry but ya know lately I just don't know what to say. I'm completely off the wagon as far as weight loss goes. Not even sure where I'd weigh in at now but I know I've gained. I've just been enjoying life, homeschooling the girls, focusing on my marriage and having a good time.

As far as the infertility goes I'm going to be 38 this year and I'm satisfied. My oldest daughter just married and I'm okay with not having any more children. Most months I'm actually thankful when the red stain comes.

Gosh, ya know, I read that and it sounds cold but God really did answer that prayer. I asked Him, "Hey Daddy-if it isn't Your will for me to have more children could you please take away this tormenting desire?"

And He did.

Even though I know the Doctors found NOTHING wrong with me and the Doctors found nothing wrong with my husband and I COULD get pregnant any ole month now.....I'm simply NOT tormented when the red stain comes.

Now, this month I did wonder. It was an off month and I had signs. It was of course a false alarm and I was emotional but not devastated. After two days I was relieved.

Parenting is hard. I can tell you that the teen years can make you rethink a lot of things. God has worked everything out and I'm ever so grateful for my three gorgeous daughters and our lives together and I do not regret one thing. There are those days that I don't want to start over again. Meadow will be 8 in July.


Time just flies doesn't it?

I've moved onto to focusing more on the life I have, the one I live everyday, instead of coveting one that I don't.

I like where I am right now and I give God all the glory, because let me tell you, after 5 plus years of trying to conceive, begging God and wondering why, its really GOOD to be at peace.

I pray that each one of you come to know His peace whether it be by conceiving or not.



beth ewing said...

i keep praying for that place. i think i at least need one more child to feel it but i'm praying after that child comes so will the peace.

Alicia said...

I'm so happy to hear that you've been graced by the Lord to enjoy your beautiful life and to be content right where He has you!

Love Ya! (((hugs)))

allyouwhohope said...

That does sound nice! I am so glad to hear that you have found peace. God works in wonderful ways! I feel more tormented than ever right now by all of this, and I would love some peace of my own :)

Jenniflower said...

I am so happy you have found peace. I am a far way off :( Just ONE child Lord, that's all I ask for. Please for.

Jenniflower said...

'plead' for.