Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Life is Full of Surprises

My oldest daughter Heaven is a CNA and working full time at the nursing home here and enrolled in college full time hoping to be accepted into the RN program somewhere in the next year or two. She is not use to the full load and it has been a very stressful year for her. Being engaged, planning her wedding, getting married in May, taking state board exams in August, then moving on to a full time job and college full time-well, that is a plate full. Needless to say there have been many tears shed lately. She calls me often and it really breaks my heart to hear her distress. I'm so use to being able to comfort and soothe her and now I find myself in the position that I have to NOT cuddle her but say, "You can do this, it is NOT too hard, hang in there, it won't be for long."

Last night she came here after work, she works second shift and it was almost midnight. I was still up, on the computer and on the phone and it scared me when she came through the door in tears. I jumped up and greeted her, she kept trying to hug me but she was crying so hard that I wanted to stand back and assess the situation. I didn't mean not to comfort her, I kept telling her to calm down, but she kept saying she couldn't. It took some time, she told me about her horrible night at work and how she felt like everyone just took advantage of her all the time. She is a helper and she goes out her way to help others and she cares about the elderly at the nursing home and the little old people love her...so she does spend extra time there and it would be nice in a perfect world if others were like her and returned the help but they don't. They'll call on her for help and then abandon her when she goes to do her hall. So she clocks out 30 minutes later than everyone else and has to be at school before 8:oo am.

She has been here at my house doing homework some nights as late as 3:oo am. and then have to go to bed, get up and be at school before 8. I know she is tired. I know this is a hard season for her.

I've been a little concerned over her sadness lately. I hate to see her so stressed and sad. Last night, she just couldn't calm down and I began having a thought....just wondering....if maybe....there was a chance....that she may be.....well.....

you know........


pregnant?

"No mom! There is no way I could be pregnant. My periods are messed up and, and, and, and"

Heaven, how late are you?

"Nine or ten days but, but, but, last month I was 18 days late and I wasn't pregnant, my periods are messed up."

Heaven, I have some pregnancies test in the bathroom, will you take one if I get it out?

Between sobs she replied,"O, O, Okay."

The whole time she was peeing in the cup, she continuing to sob. I took the cup and dipped the stick and held it the entire time. She is now through short sucked in breaths telling me that she has a urinary tract infection and that she's had it for a week but hadn't wanted to go to the doctor. Never paying the least bit of attention to the test.

It's one of those that reads pregnant or not pregnant, remember my post on those? I'm watching this little ticker in the window and all of a sudden it pops up:


PREGNANT

She has the snubs and she is still telling me about her incredibly bad week and I'm trying to speak to her and finally had to yell, "Heaven, Heaven! You are pregnant! You are pregnant!"

Stunned silence.

"What?"

Look here, sweetheart, calm down and read the test. It says pregnant.

"It says what? It says I'm pregnant?"

Screams finally escape the tears and then we proceed to wake up everyone in our house and call everyone we know. It was close to 1:oo am but somehow the time didn't seem to matter. Finally, I was able to soothe her, hold her and comfort her.

Today we went to the doctor's office to rule out a urinary tract infection and get confirmation on her pregnancy and we did.

WOW, I'm going to be a grandmother at 38 years old. I'm still in shock.

My baby is going to have a baby.

I'm ecstatic.

We went to lunch and I ate some broiled seafood and a salad. Then we took a trip over to K-Mart to look at baby clothes and they had some onesies in packs that were buy one get one free, so I picked up two pink packets for a girl. I have been buying boy clothes in faith (for me) over the years so I have quite a collection of blankets and clothes for boys. I actually had sent those home with her a few months ago when the Lord gave me peace over not having any more children. ;)

On the way home she was talking about getting fat while I was trying to get skinny and us being on opposite ends of the pole.

'Oh please, Heaven, you are young I'm almost 40, you need to be praying for your daddy and me because this diet is HARD. Do you want to know how hard it is for me? Well, when I was standing in K-Mart back there in line waiting to pay for the babies clothes I could smell the sugar. I looked around to see the candy I was smelling and it wasn't even candy I would normally eat but the smell. As I enhaled the ever so sweet smell of sugar my mouth began to salivate and my stomach began to growl. Those are true signs of addiction to sugar. It's like being a vampire and smelling blood. It took everything I had to ignore the little voice in my head telling me it was okay, to go ahead and eat the sugar, it wouldn't hurt me.....'

"Sheesh Mom! Are you okay?"

Yes, I'm fine, but withdrawals from sugar are no pic nic in the park. This is hard stuff.

"Sounds like it mom, vampires smelling blood....."

ROFLOL~

I'm not kidding Heaven-it's hard, that hard for me.

So, anywho........ I'm going to be a grandmother.

10 comments:

Dave and Elaine said...

That is such a beautiful post!

My mother had me & then my brother and then had 5 miscarriages. After her fifth, God released her desires to try for a 3rd child and years later she told me that she would have her desires fulfilled for a 3rd child when I would have a baby and become a mother.

I can only imagine the excitement you must have felt in watching that pregnancy test say "Pregnant"! It's like me in the fact that I was not able to be the one to give birth but God allowed me to witness the birth of a baby just a month ago. You didn't get to see your own stick say "Pregnant" but you saw your daughter's and were there with her when she discovered she was pregnant. I think that is just so special that God would allow it to happen that way.

I am so happy for you and your daughter!!! That will be one special baby!

Carrie said...

oh my goodness! congratulations!

Perhaps you came to peace with not having more children because this little one was on its way... sounds like Heaven's a busy girl and will probably need some babysitting help from her mama!

-Carrie
http://welayinrepose.livejournal.com

Hear My Cry said...

Thanks Carrie and Elaine!

Elaine your reply made me cry. It was very touching and I appreciate it alot. Hugs to you both!

Belouise said...

Oh my goodness, Jenileigh!!!! That is WONDERFUL news!!!! That was NO coincidence that she came to you and you all found out this baby was coming together. Isn't the LORD just amazing??? At some point, the picture begins to become clearer.

My mother has told me over and over that if I think giving birth to my own child is amazing...wait until I watch my first grandchild born...it's even more incredible. I have to admit, I can't begin to imagine that to be true but I can't wait to hear your opinion on it in a few months! :-) What a blessing. Big big hugs!!!

Jesus, My Best Friend said...

congrats! so exciting! i will be Praying for you guys and for Heaven's stress levels. those hormones can drive u insane ... i'm still going through that. what an exciting time for your family!

Stacey said...

Congratulations! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful grandmother! What an exciting time.

Best of luck with the weight loss.

Dave and Elaine said...

Awww...your welcome. That post touched me so much that I want to write about it on my blog b/c I just think it is so incredibly awesome how God gave you that moment with your daughter. Would that be okay w/ you if I wrote something on my blog about it??

Hear My Cry said...

Elaine! Yes! Feel free anytime! I'm honored to be shared on your blog. Hugs!

beth ewing said...

congrats grandma! how exciting. i know it's not the same as having a baby of your own but my mom has said there is nothing like being a grandma...all the spoiling and none of the responsibility!

kcmarie122 said...

I realize I am pretty late on this but CONGRATS! That is so crazy, but very exciting! What a great story! So happy for you and your daughter and I hope all these recents uncertainties get resolved ok.