Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Bad Speculations

I never should have thought all that out loud as nothing could be further from what is happening.

Her HCG was 5565 and the nurse said that this is normal for someone who is in the range of 3-4 weeks pregnant. They did NOT check her progesterone.

I looked online and HCG levels of 5500 were normal for pregnancies anywhere between week 3 to week 7. From what I read they varied a lot.

The nurse still assures me that everything is fine and that the sonogram coupled with the blood work is what will inform them of whats going on.

I'm a little more at peace tonight than I was today.

I broke down crying on the phone with the nurse.

I didn't realize how I was bottling up this fear until that moment. I'm so glad that Heaven was at school and not here to see me. I'm so glad that I broke down today and not tomorrow. I don't want Heaven to see my concerns.

She is blissfully happy.

So now I know two things.

She is NOT further along as we had hoped for.

She is NOT pregnant with twins.

Today her spotting stopped. None this morning, none this afternoon, but then it came again tonight. Just a wee little bit, really dark brown.

The nurse says this is a really good thing. She talked with me for a long time today. She was so comforting to me.

I pray my baby girl and her baby are fine. Just fine.

It helps to come here and share. When I started this blog it was for me to voice my anger and feelings over my own infertility. I never dreamed that it would become a place for me to come about other things. Especially not like this, but nevertheless, I am thankful for it and for each of you. You have no idea the peace it brings to know you all are out there and that you are praying for my daughter and grandbaby. I wish I could hug each one of you.

I'll be back tomorrow evening.

7 comments:

beth ewing said...

glad to hear you're feeling better and i pray tomorrow only brings more good news.

Dave and Elaine said...

Glad to hear this & still praying for a GREAT ultrasound! (Yesterday's comment from "Norma" was me! I must have been signed in as my mom.)

Belouise said...

Great numbers! I'm glad that you got some reassurance...looking forward to hearing the ultrasound results and still praying!!!

Rebecca said...

I've been through it time and time again. I know the fear that threatens to hijack our thoughts. Will pray for your daughter and precious baby!!!

Alicia said...

I would imagine this is harder when it's your daughter instead of you? I'm still praying for Heaven and her baby :) May God ease all of your fear. Love Ya!

Jenileigh said...

Thanks Beth, Belouise and Rebecca! Elaine-no worries! :) and Alicia-yes somehow I do believe this is a lot harder on me because it's happening to my daughter. I do not think it would be easy in any way if it were me, but the fear of something hurting my daughter is fierce!

Aunt Becky said...

Sending you prayers and light and love.