Friday, September 5, 2008

Day 22

I'm hanging in there. This has been a super busy week so that has helped me a lot. Remember the little baby boy that was given to my sil to raise because his mommy is in jail? Well he stayed with me this week, all week, Monday through today. I have had so little sleep I'm pretty much exhausted but its a wonderful exhaustion. Each day I would just pray over him and pray in the spirit while holding him. I just pray that God intervene in a mighty way for this little guy.

I prayed for my sil too. She worried me a tad Wednesday. She was suppose to have picked him up around 5 or so and she never showed up. Her son was at home, he's 14 and he was so worried. He called me around 8 to see if she had been here yet. She finally went home around 1:00 am and never showed to pick up Aiden. I had no problem with him staying with me but it did worry me that she's slipping and what will happen to him if she does. When I talked to her on Thursday I just encouraged her and thanked her for leaving him with me while she was out. I told her if she needed to take that time to please not take the baby with her. I would be here to keep him anytime.

It was hard letting him go today. I have to prepare myself. A few years ago I would have been so upset, crying and pitching a fit but today I told myself that as of now he is where the Lord has placed him and that unless the Lord Himself moves Him here it's something I have no control over and I can't allow a situation that I have no control over to control me. So I let him go knowing I'll get to keep him again next week and trusting that it won't be long before I have a babe of my own.

I went to Walmart and bought the cutest swing. It's a Fisher-Price Rainforest Table Top Swing. After holding Aiden for the first three days my shoulders were burning and I needed somewhere to lay him that he could be in the same room that I was. This worked out perfectly. Here is a picture of the swing. I put it together with my middle daughter Sky, it was pretty easy. It folds up for travel, it plays 7 songs and has 5 different swing speeds.

As far as the waiting I think days 27-32 will be the hardest. I'm just trying really hard not to think too much about it. I have a gentle peace right now and I'm very thankful for that. I do hope this cycle is the one because I don't know how our funds are going to hold out. With winter coming on my husband's hours will be cut back and that will definitely put a crunch on us. If this isn't the month then I'm going to talk with my RE about doing a really agressive month and then taking a few months off.

Here is a picture of Aiden.

Smelling him and hearing his little squeeky noises really brings that desire to have a baby, a little boy baby, out in me. I was very thankful to the Lord for allowing me those precious moments with him.

Welp, until next time. God bless! I am praying that this month will be the month for all of us. ;)


Jen said...

Awww, he's beautiful. :) I am praying for him, and for you. I found your blog from "For yours is the kindgom" and am so encouraged by other Christain women and their thoughts about infertility.

Staci said...

I am hoping that this is the month for you. I remember finally coming to a peace with everything going on in my situation at the time and lo and behold, I ended up pregnant that cycle. I very much hope that this is the case for you as well.