Saturday, September 13, 2008

Day 29

The days seem to drag along. My thoughts are being haunted by whispers of "This is never going to happen for you." I'm casting them down in the name of Jesus but crying all the while.

I'm not emotional. Even though I cry it isn't an emotional cry, its anger, its frustration. I just want to be able to conceive.

I watched Baby Mama tonight. It was ok. Not what I thought it would be.

The waiting is so monotonous. I feel so alone, even here in blogoshere, I feel alone.

I have one pregnancy test left. I've entertained the thought of taking it and just getting it over with but I'm crampy and showing so many signs of the stain coming that I'm trying to get myself to save it for better times, not to mention I need to save the $$.

I have until Thursday to wait, at the latest that is. I have had several 34 day cycles this year. So.... 5 or 6 more days or less. Who knows??

No comments: