Sunday, August 17, 2008

Devil you will NOT take my song

Today's service was amazing. I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay home and sulk while wallowing in my own self pity. I wanted to be lazy and lay in bed all day dreaming about being pregnant and hoping that it'll be this month. The stress is taking a toll on my marriage. Yesterday was a hard day for dh and I. I have so many things I want to say and he's just tired of hearing me. He doesn't agree with much of my bitterness and he shouldn't, I'm wrong, I know I'm wrong but it's how I've felt. I want him not only to listen but also agree with me. Yesterday he didn't agree with me but he didn't want to voice it. I wanted to hear him tell me he didn't agree with me, I mean tell me anything just talk to me! I forced it and he said it. Oddly when he was done I felt better. How weird is that? It hurt but I also understood. He was mad with me for a long while. Pretty much the rest of the day. I wanted to make up, he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready until it was time to sleep. Then I was angry again. I mean why couldn't he have been ok when we actually had time to talk. He doesn't want to talk. He wants to be together silently, watching movies, holding hands, laying in bed together. I don't want to talk about the weather or how my day was. I want to talk. He doesn't. So I wanted to stay home today and make him go to church by himself. I felt the Holy Spirit leading me this morning, urging me to get up and go. I am so glad I obeyed.

Today was on not allowing the devil to take your song. Pastor spoke of how uplifting it was to sing and praise the Lord. How pleased the Lord was when we opened ourselves and praised Him not asking for anything, not one blessing, just seeking Him and Him alone. During our praise and worship today that was the words of one of the songs we sang. "Lord I want nothing, not even one blessing all I want is YOU." It took me back to a place that I haven't been in a long time. A moment where I didn't care about anything but pleasing my Father. A longing to feel myself consumed by Him. Praising Him and not pleading with Him to answer my prayers. Somehow as my focus was cleared and directed today I knew that I was going to be ok. That God's plan was enough for me. It strengthened me for battle. I am not down for the count. I am strong and I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.

Pastor talked about how easy it was to praise God when we were on our mountain tops and I pictured myself pregnant with twins and how I would be shouting glory to the Lord, and I shouted glory to Him today for being my King!!! Pastor spoke of how easy it was to preach God's word when people were saying Amen, preach it brother. How easy it was to raise our hands among friends and those with like faith. How easy it was to open up to God when His presence came and charged the atmosphere. Anyone could stand up and shout Hallelujah! Or testify about the Lord and all His goodness.

The test of your faith is when you are down trodden and in the lowest of lowest places. Are you singing His praises and claiming the victory through the midst of the trial? Or have you abandoned your faith and given up on the Lord? If the devil gets your song, be sure, he has your victory.

Remember these scriptures.

James 1:2 Brethren, Count it all JOY when you fall into divers temptations.

all joy--cause for the highest joy. Nothing but joy. Count all "divers temptations" to be each matter of joy.

fall into--unexpectedly, so as to be encompassed by them

temptations--not in the limited sense of allurements to sin, but trials or distresses of any kind which test and purify the Christian character. Every possible trial to the child of God is a masterpiece of strategy of the Captain of his salvation for his good.

1Peter 1:6
Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a
season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through
manifold temptations:

1Peter 1:7
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious
than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire,
might be found unto praise and honour and glory at
the appearing of Jesus Christ:

1Peter 1:8
Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now
ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy
unspeakable and full of glory:

1Peter 1:9
Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of
your souls.

Wherein--in which prospect of final salvation.

greatly rejoice--"exult with joy": "are exuberantly glad." Salvation is realized by faith (1Pe 1:9) as a thing so actually present as to cause exulting joy in spite of existing afflictions.

for a season--Greek, "for a little time." if need be--"if it be God's will that it should be so" , for not all believers are afflicted. One need not invite or lay a cross on himself, but only "take up" the cross which God imposes ("his cross"); 2Ti 3:12 is not to be pressed too far. Not every believer, nor every sinner, is tried with afflictions . Some falsely think that notwithstanding our forgiveness in Christ, a kind of atonement, or expiation by suffering, is needed.

ye are in heaviness--Greek, "ye were grieved." The "grieved" is regarded as past, the "exulting joy" present. Because the realized joy of the coming salvation makes the present grief seem as a thing of the past. At the first shock of affliction ye were grieved, but now by anticipation ye rejoice, regarding the present grief as past.

through--Greek, "IN": the element in which the grief has place.

manifold--many and of various kinds (1Pe 4:12-13).

temptations--"trials" testing your faith.

1Pe 4:12
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery
trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing
happened unto you:

1Pe 4:13
But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's
sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye
may be glad also with exceeding joy.

strange--they might think it strange that God should allow His chosen children to be sore tried.

fiery trial--like the fire by which metals are tested and their dross removed. The Greek adds, "in your case." which is to try you--Greek, "which is taking place for a trial to you." Instead of its "happening to you" as some strange and untoward chance, it "is taking place" with the gracious design of trying you; God has a wise design in it--a consolatory reflection.

inasmuch as--The oldest manuscripts read, "in proportion as"; "in as far as" ye by suffering are partakers of Christ's sufferings, that is, by faith enter into realizing fellowship with them; willingly for His sake suffering as He suffered.

with exceeding joy--Greek, "exulting joy"; now ye rejoice amidst sufferings; then ye shall EXULT, for ever free from sufferings.

Sometimes its so hard to remember we are in a spiritual battle not a physical one. That we are running a race with a big reward. That it isn't about us, its about HIM. He has a purpose and a plan for us and if we are too self absorbed we could miss the mark. I know this journey isn't an easy one but I must trust that my Father will give me what I need when I need it. I must focus on Him and desire Him first and foremost. He is a jealous God.

So today I sing.

Read Made Me Glad lyrics

I will bless the Lord forever
I will trust Him at all times
He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a rock
I will not be moved
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need

Whom have I in heaven but You
There's none I desire beside You
You have made me glad
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need

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